Why I’m stupid

When it comes to dieting I suck – and I’m ok with that.  I’ve learned that I love food and the key for me is to keep the bad things in moderation and to make the lesser bad choice when possible.  Order the small steak, order the Chinese dish with lots of veggies, eat lots of veggies, get the pizza but avoid the pizza with sausage and pepperoni.  These things work for me.  Every now and again though I forget these principles and like an alcoholic who is just going to have “a drink or two” I go launching off the wagon like a golden retriever after a tennis ball.

Yesterday was one of those days.  “We’re getting sholtens’ poutine for lunch” what do you want.  I’ve had the poutine before, it’s good.  It comes in two sizes, small and large.  Small while nutritionally bad is not quite a full meal if you are hungry.  Large is ridiculous and what bears should eat before hibernating before the winter.  I know this to be true and yet still said, I want a large.  Even as the rest of the group ordered smalls, I did not say – you know what I’ll have a small after all and there’s some turkey in the fridge to boost it later.  Nope I need a large.  Ironically I was going to have a modest turkey sandwich for lunch before the takeout plan was hatched.

Poutine, while delicious, may be the single most awful thing that Canadians eat and explains why New Brunswick is one of the fattest provinces in the country.  Anyway so the large order arrives, and it’s even bigger than I remember.  To make things worse there’s got to be extra “gravy” (we’ll use that term loosely) on top of the 2lbs of fries and cheese.  I don’t eat the whole thing but most.  I’m too cheap to let a lot of “good” (we’ll use that term loosely as well) food go to waste.  Not 10 minutes after finishing I already have regrets.  I still don’t eat supper hours later as the cheese and gravy has insulated me from hunger, that or my body is scared I might ingest another calorie bomb and does not want to go into a food coma.

My stomach and digestive system hates me.  I might as well gone on an all night bender, the effect the next day would be the same.  My body is still trying to expel the toxins and there’s no end in sight.  I remain thirsty no matter how much water I drink.  I haven’t cried yet, but I’ve thought about it and I’m close.  I regret all things about my decision, and just hope I can recover for new years eve.  I’ve vowed to never eat that shit “thing” again – and I mean it. 

Here’s a picture of our Christmas tree, tis the season of overindulging after all…